Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) Post #10

Day 10: Tuesday. I chose to take Tuesday evening as a day of self-care. I went for a drive, had some excellent Mexican food, and explored some personal interests. These concepts make for a late post, but it is also so important to take care of yourself.

I didn’t experience the sine wave of moods that I had mentioned yesterday, and I stayed on the upper end of the spectrum. How frustratingly inconsistent, I identified and then immediately break the pattern.

The mood wasn’t the only aberration as my pain level increased during treatment and a tension headache followed after. I’m beginning to wonder what this is actually doing to my brain.

Today’s Anthem: Little Shop of Horrors – Mean Green Mother from Outer Space

Today’s Book: Margaret Atwood – morning in the burned house

Pain: How badly did the treatment hurt? Did I have headaches afterward? Other issues?

4/5 – Pain was significant and jarring, very painful during treatment and some tension afterward.

Sleep: How’d I sleep? How many hours? Quality?

3/5 – Sleep remains steadily unimproved.

Appetite: How’d I feel about eating? What did I eat?

4/5 – I was feeling ravenous and yet didn’t eat much. Maybe it’s a lack of bulgogi in my life.

Physical Activity: What did I feel capable of doing? What did I ultimately do? How did I feel afterward?

3/5 – I felt good but was quickly worn out by any physical exertion. I think the repeated doses of Advil is causing something funny with my cardiovascular system. May have to try moving forward without taking it for treatments.

Motivation: How much proactive motivation did I have? What motivated me? What were my goals? Did I hit them?

3/5 – Motivation was okay. I managed to accomplish the tasks I set out to do throughout the day.

Baseline Mood: What am I feeling as a baseline.

AM: 3/5 – I woke up feeling pretty well about myself and my day. I had a slight dip and then rebounded for the evening. Breaking my sine wave idea.

PM: 4/5 – By the time I went to bed, I was exhausted but not for the lack of a great evening. I enjoyed Mexican food, good random conversation, and a bit of fun for the evening.

Happenings: What’s happened today that may impact my baseline?

I went for a drive in the Berkshires, had Mexican Food, made it back in time to get a couple of games in and we actually won. I had some great conversations and really felt like I freed up a section of my mind for a bit.

Reactions: What were my reactions to the happenings?


Learnings: What did I learn, observe, etc.?

“We have priorities, Omar!” – shouted by a drunken woman at her waiter in the Mexican restaurant. I can only imagine those priorities are as follows.

  • Margarita
  • Margarita
  • Belligerence
  • Margarita
  • Thinly veiled racism
  • maybe an Ambien

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