2017 – It’s not going to happen.

Every year I tell myself I’m going to get back to the business of writing my thoughts. Every year it doesn’t happen. There’s always something more important isn’t there? Whether it’s being busy at work or not wanting to steal time away from Laura – something manages to keep me from doing it.

I look back at the dates of the last time I was genuinely serious about writing and it occurs to me that all of that was before cancer. It could be that it’s hard to feel like anything is worth saying once you’ve had the worst imaginable news. Perhaps it’s just a change in the brain chemistry or something that shows that I’m not quite the same as before. It could be that I’m older and less concerned with the wordsmithing I once pursued.

There are many things that I had hoped to accomplish by now. I look back at the naivety of high school. I had some dreams of being a college professor and a writer. I’m now a thousand miles and then some from that dream and going strong.

  • I wanted to give a TedTalk.
  • I wanted to start/run my own business.
  • I dreamed about writing and publishing a book.

It’s interesting how life hands you some of the things you need. I’m now a consultant where I’m paid to educate people on best practices and solutions. I write numerous technical articles for use with an internal knowledgebase. It certainly isn’t exactly what I dreamed up in my idealistic days but it’s interestingly fulfilling.

It’s simply not going to happen. I’m not going to write that book, I probably won’t run a company, and I certainly don’t expect anyone to ask me to give a Ted Talk. That’s alright. I’ll get by. I’ll do great works for my clients and I’ll solve puzzles all day long. Sometimes, being happy isn’t having everything, it’s loving everything you’ve got. Between Laura and my career – I have a fortune.

 

2016 – A New Year, Look and Direction

I haven’t done much with my website since I was hired by nimblejack. I’ve been fairly busy rapidly achieving goals and learning new skills. It became difficult to pursue side projects. I’ve been considering in what ways I could contribute something positive here.

So with the arrival of 2016, I’ve decided to give DonSedberry.com a new look. A cleaner-simpler feel to go along with the new purpose I’ve decided to give it.

What new purpose? My work over the past year has been fascinating and I’ve learned some awesome tricks and created a plethora of amazing projects. Some of these projects have been extremely custom and I believe worth sharing to show my abilities. That way I can demonstrate some of the answers that I could not find by way of StackExchange or Google. So the next person who wants to figure these things out can have a jumping off point.

I’ll still continue to occasionally post some of my own literary creations as well and some more creative work as time allows.

Obligatory New Year’s Resolutions:

  1. Make time to live well.
  2. Be the man Laura deserves – every day.
  3. Be committed to helping our little family be healthy.
  4. Demonstrate the changes I want to see.
  5. Care more about the world.
  6. Be open to and explore new experiences, people, and adventures.

I can’t die, I still have to… (excuses/reasons to live) REDUX

write a book

publish a book

publicly admit that I write poetry

own an antique typewriter that works

inspire someone If I inspire you, let me know, it’s not your praise I seek… I just want to help. 😉 In fact, let each and every person that inspires you know that they’ve helped you in some way before they are gone and can no longer smile inside their hearts knowing they did something great.

leave a letter in a book at the library for someone else to find

start my own business

successfully run a business

use my successful business to give back to the world in some way

learn to play the guitar

relearn to play the piano

start my own web community

write over 500 blog posts

give a TED talk

own a record player

run walk in and complete a 5K

quit a job that I really hate.    link

find a job I love

climb to the summit of a mountain

travel to Egypt and see the pyramids

graduate from college

survive student loans

find a job where I can wear jeans and comfortable shoes to work

buy a house

lose 300lbs   I currently weigh 220 and I love it!

build an old fashioned library for Laura and

fall in love.

stay married. (in progress, thanks Laura!)

have children

fly a plane

fire one of the rifles from my video games

ride a gondola in Venice, Italy

ride every adult-sized roller coaster in the United States

have a vegetable garden

have a vegetable garden, successfully

time travel

send a message in a bottle

pay for a random person’s dinner without waiting for the thank you

learn to paint on canvas

pack some clothes and go on a random road trip to meet random people in random towns all while writing a book incorporating the stories of little American towns

utilize the same trip to find the best local food

dance in the rain

choose education path

take the GRE

submit application for Masters

submit application to Ph.D. school

become Dr. Sedberry (not medical, just an expert title)

survive cancer 

code a text adventure game

try something new once a month for the rest of my life

cook more often than eating out

write at least 6 handwritten letters before 2015

write a song

revive the MFTT story

spend time with friends

make new friends

make an effort to talk to new people

choose our own adventure

have children

Greetings from the world formerly known as Cancerville

The only thing that sucks more than living through cancer is dying from it. That may sound morbid, but it is absolutely true. Before I survived cancer I had absolutely no idea how powerless I was capable of becoming.

cancerville
It’s amazing how weak chemotherapy can make you…more on that later.

It’s hard for me to accept that anyone, even my wife Laura, could possibly understand what I have been through in my fight against cancer. I don’t want to come off as arrogant or pompous. I have a difficult time explaining all that I have been through so it follows that it might be difficult for someone who hasn’t been through it to understand.

That’s what this is about. It is my intention to explain what I have been through both for me and for others. It is my hope to generate understanding in those who have been by my side and to help prepare someone with a new diagnosis of cancer for things to come.

I have the benefit of a highly logical and analytical mind as well as a deeply caring heart. Over the next several posts, I will do my very best to be as thorough and transparent as possible, giving a complete emotional and analytical breakdown of the story.

I also want to offer up an “open email policy.” My contact information is available on this website and I offer up myself as a resource in the future. Please reach out to me via email with any questions or comments. I promise to respond to any requests for additional information and fellowship.

I am looking forward to getting this off my chest and out of my head… I hope it does some good in this world.

Donning New Perspectives

I’ve read this story before, long before I wrote these words. You see it often when people have slammed into a wall and been greeted with their own mortality. In my case, the wall was cancer, a word I never expected to hear that day. Yet, I think it was something I had been preparing my whole life to cope with.

I have jokingly told my friends that I made a deal with God to live forever for as long as I could remember. It was my way of deflecting my mortality and believing that I was ready for anything. I wasn’t, of course. At some point, before the word cancer, I began donning a new set of perspectives.

If you’re like most people you have a need to control every aspect of your life. You guard yourself from being hurt, from change, from anything that doesn’t fit your ideal circumstance. You may not admit it, or even see it, but there it is guiding your every movement through life. Most of the time, you don’t even notice this particular perspective. You’re so used to it that it seems perfectly natural to hide in the safety of it.

I realized that I didn’t have control and more importantly didn’t want control. Life is beautiful in the way that it moves like a river, either carrying us along or moving around us if we get in the way. You can drown in that river or you can go with the flow. We’re told that going with the flow is a form of weakness. It is actually the most sincere form of strength to allow life to grant you opportunities to seize.

When you allow life to carry you along, you begin to see that you have a purpose that life intends for you to accomplish, to change, grow and meet new challenges with a fresh perspective each time. My wife shared with me a beautiful narrative about change that demonstrated personal transformation through the eyes of caterpillar.

Change. Caterpillars go into themselves and melt, reprograming each and every particle into a part of the butterfly that it will eventually become. That melting stage is crucial, that’s the stage when you question all that you are and use it to build the person on the other side of the perspective shift. That’s what I’ve been going through lately.

Laura, my wife, bought me a book titled “Believe” while I was in the hospital. The following quote really touched me.

“We won’t always know whose lives we touched and made better for our having cared, because actions sometimes have unforeseen ramifications. What’s important is that you do care and you act.” ~ Charlotte Lunsford

Cancer saved me from a life that I would hate, in a career that I would despise and allowed me one final opportunity to let go of the puppet strings of my life. While sitting in the hospital listening to the stories of all the nurses, doctors, and family members visiting their relatives I changed a little more each day. Is it crazy to be grateful for cancer? Maybe. I’m applying to pursue a doctorate so that I can follow through with becoming a professor, so that I can make a difference.

Make a difference. Today.