Every year I tell myself I’m going to get back to the business of writing my thoughts. Every year it doesn’t happen. There’s always something more important isn’t there? Whether it’s being busy at work or not wanting to steal time away from Laura – something manages to keep me from doing it.
I look back at the dates of the last time I was genuinely serious about writing and it occurs to me that all of that was before cancer. It could be that it’s hard to feel like anything is worth saying once you’ve had the worst imaginable news. Perhaps it’s just a change in the brain chemistry or something that shows that I’m not quite the same as before. It could be that I’m older and less concerned with the wordsmithing I once pursued.
There are many things that I had hoped to accomplish by now. I look back at the naivety of high school. I had some dreams of being a college professor and a writer. I’m now a thousand miles and then some from that dream and going strong.
- I wanted to give a TedTalk.
- I wanted to start/run my own business.
- I dreamed about writing and publishing a book.
It’s interesting how life hands you some of the things you need. I’m now a consultant where I’m paid to educate people on best practices and solutions. I write numerous technical articles for use with an internal knowledgebase. It certainly isn’t exactly what I dreamed up in my idealistic days but it’s interestingly fulfilling.
It’s simply not going to happen. I’m not going to write that book, I probably won’t run a company, and I certainly don’t expect anyone to ask me to give a Ted Talk. That’s alright. I’ll get by. I’ll do great works for my clients and I’ll solve puzzles all day long. Sometimes, being happy isn’t having everything, it’s loving everything you’ve got. Between Laura and my career – I have a fortune.